The Apocalypse: Greatest Business Opportunity EVER

I’ll probably be writing something up about Lee Konstantinou’s recent Pop Apocalypse (New York: Ecco, 2009), but I cannot pass up posting this fantastic passage, in all of it’s self-conscious Bond-villain glory:

“Stan seems suddenly bored with Eliot.  ‘Well, okay, I don’t have a lot of time, but here’s the elevator-talk version.  Given the current geopolitical situation, the Apocalypse I just outlined to you will happen, one way or another.  This year, next year, whenever.  Take that as a given.  If it happens by accident or is initiated by people who do not claim their intellectual property rights, then the world will just get nuked and no one will make a cent off the whole thing.  Now, if some person or group figures out that there’s money to be made off the destruction of the world, then that person or group will be within reach of an unprecedented business opportunity.  Again, given the geopolitics of the matter, this is really low-hanging fruit.

“‘It is, therefore, immoral not to take advantage of this knowledge, because if the end of the world doesn’t come about by accident, then some other, more malicious group will take advantage of this knowledge.  On behalf of our investors, we’re obligated to take every step we can to ensure that we corner the Apocalypse market before anyone else does.  And we’re prepared to use part of our profit, after dividends are paid out, in a very charitable way.  We’re not only going to be the most profitable corporation in history but also the greatest philanthropists the world has ever known.  As good corporate citizens, we have an obligation to the whole world community.  We’ll help rebuild things, pick up the pieces of our sad and broken world.  Make sure these kinds of unstable geopolitical situations can’t happen again'” (180).

Pure, unalloyed, disaster capitalism gold.

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